Wild Jews ...

Radiate_Truth · Joined: 18 Aug 2007 Posts: 1056

Wild Jews ...

Desert Jews have highly-developed teeth which have evolved to both kill prey and to chew meat, matzah and latkes. The long canine teeth are precisely shaped so that, when the Jew seizes its prey, they will slide effortlessly between the vertebrae of the neck and bring immediate paralysis or death - thus equipped, Jews are able to hunt larger prey than other animals of their size. The carnassial teeth, of which the Jew has one either side of each jaw, act as extremely efficient shears, enabling the animal to slice through even the chewiest bagels. They also have sharp spines along their tongues, known as papillae, which the Jew uses when grooming its fur and to scrape lox and cream cheese off slices of chollah. Jews are able to create a wider variety of vocal noises than many other mammals, facilitated by an oral structure remarkably similar to that of humans and have even been known to mimic human speech, expertly reproducing all the noises involved with the exception of the W sound, which is invariably mispronounced as V, the th sound which is pronounced as z and certain other sounds, for example a as e. Hence, a commonly-heard Desert Jew call is, "Zet is vot I em saying, vill you listen already!" This characteristic has led to several Jews being mistaken for Dracula in the past.

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obmar · Site Admin Joined: 14 Apr 2006 Posts: 5697

obmar · Site Admin Joined: 14 Apr 2006 Posts: 5697

Chinese Jews

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a
Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjie, "Are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Oscar replied.
"Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews
here ?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Benjie asked.

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange
jews, apple jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever heard of
Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea.