obmar
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Dont laugh - you are inside the courtroom...ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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obmar
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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obmar
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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
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Blue1moon
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Can I smile then? 
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obmar
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Blue1moon
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One of the funniest shows I ever saw was:
"America's Dumbest Criminals"
These were actual incidents, many recorded on video-tape:
Had robbers writing their bank stick-up note on the back of one of their own deposit slips... or walking from bank they just robbed with money and bonds to deposit in their own back across the street. Or the woman who took her pot plants for a drive in her car daily (this was California) so they could listen to her car stereo, for better growth!
My favorite was the police station in a poor southern town, who had little money for equipment.
So.... they took a metal spaghetti strainer, attached a couple wires from it to a copy machine, and put it on the suspect's head.
In the copy machine they had a paper that said LIAR! - each time they asked the guy a question, they would push the copy button and a paper came out saying, of course, "Liar!" The guy confessed in minutes. ROFLOL.
There were a couple teens busted for a robbery, when asked why they did it they responded, "To have money to attend the police academy!"
Another guy walked into the police station to report his roommate had stolen illegal drugs from him. The officer said he would be glad to arrest the roommate, but then he would also have to arrest the complainer. The man decided against pressing charges.
People are strange! and many are foolish.
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