A Polite Way to Pee

Radiate_Truth · A Polite Way to Pee

A Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?"

Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted!

obmar

Here's a decent advice.

Dont make snow balls out of yellow snow or drink them.

Radiate_Truth

Oh!!! So true.

Always amazing what comes out of the mouth's of babes. We think they're never learning or listening just cause we think they're not paying attention.

The Inquisitor

Hey, I like Johnny's answer. At least he's being honest.

My answer usually is, "I have to go talk with Mom, be right back." and if they look at me puzzled, I reply, "Mother Nature."

But in a serious situation you just have to excuse yourself, obviously.

Still pretty funny, RT.

Laughing

Radiate_Truth

I'm glad you said "Mother Nature".

The first thing that came to my mind when you said this, ""I have to go talk with Mom, be right back", is what a Mommy's boy.

The Inquisitor

The funny thing is when I'm with old friends who know my mother died in 1971. They'll look at me real strange for a moment before realizing what I mean.

obmar

Have you heard this one?

Toilet Stories: Camping Toilet

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant - especially in her language - was planning a week's vacation in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word 'TOILET' in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term 'BATHROOM COMMODE.' But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So, she started all over again, rewrote the letter and referred to the bathroom commode merely as the B.C. 'Does the campground have it's own B.C.?' is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That B.C. business really stumped him.

After worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the location of the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,
I regret very much for the delay in answering your letter. I now take the pleasure in informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people usually take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago and it was so crowded that we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now, there is a supper being planned to raise money to buy more seats. They're going to hold it in the basement of the B.C. I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly but it is sure no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a friendly community.

Radiate_Truth

obmar · Men never listen

Men Never Listen

On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating great pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, He pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.
What happened?" he exclaimed. "You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse. "The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
Men Never Listen.

Radiate_Truth

That is the best one I have heard in a long time.
Oh!!! How they do not listen.

obmar

They say men had one switch, on and off.

Their other have have dozens of buttons and switches.

The Inquisitor

some of us can't wait

Radiate_Truth

What no toilet paper holder???

I saw one where the toilet lid lefts up and closes when you get up, automatically without giving it a hand and it flushes automatically once you get up. Had to be electric. My question would be what happens when a storm knocks out your power???

obmar

Radiate_Truth

A Polite Way to Pee

Men never listen